Ah, the back to school sales!  Ah, the bills!  Ah, the coming of a time when holding down a full-time job is not physically viable!  Ladies and gentlemen, school starts on Monday.

As I sit here at work, staring at the usual tools of the IT operator (coffee, 15 computer monitors, eight keyboards, three phones, worn console notebooks, rack upon rack of tapes and the gigantic tape machine), I find myself wondering “um… how am I going to cope with the pay that comes of only doing this for 16 hours a week?”  The answer is, clearly, that I need to sell off all those bodily organs I’m not using.  Anyone need a nice, clean kidney?

Alternately, I’ve got hundreds of thousands of words sitting around on my external hard drive, and by gosh, most of them are neatly arranged into novel-length manuscripts.  This may be a more useful thing to observe, though, if I actually had the time and energy to expend on convincing publishers they’re worth something while holding down the hours of a full-time theatre MFA candidate with a part-time job.  Ok, so we’re back to that kidney.

I think, perhaps, I need to find me an enthusiastic literary agent who doesn’t restrict him/herself to one genre bracket.  I couldn’t tell you why, exactly, but I write pretty much everything but romance/erotica, and I write stuff for all ages.  Shoot, I’ve even written picture books, I’ve written plays, and I tried to write a novel in Japanese once, long ago, when I was feeling insane and ambitious.  I write rock songs on napkins.  I write travelogues that number in the thousands of pages.  I have some quite nice graduate-level research papers, including one on modern Brechtian Broadway musicals that I’m partial to.  I’ve got a historical fiction cold-case murder mystery in the works.

I really wish I could make effective use of all of this to support my theatre habit.  Lately, acting causes more bills than it pays, and writing doesn’t cost me more than paper and hard drive space.  It says a lot about my life that it might have actually been simpler if I’d fallen head-over-heels for the novel writing trade instead of for live theatre.  Novelists often have it just as rough as actors, only novelists make their own working hours.

Still in all, I want to act, and I am giddy with anticipation for this semester.  I’m learning how to be a Beijing Opera (Jingju) actor from the very best Chinese master actors!  SQUEEEEEEE!  Dang, I love my graduate program.  Now, if only it were free like that lovely musical theatre BA for which I had a National Merit Scholarship…

Ah, well.  Kidney anyone?  Kidney?